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You're banned because tl;dr.

You're banned because you didn't take the time to read through the previously written post that was very long and would have taken you about 15 seconds to read through slowly. If read quickly, it would have taken you about 3 seconds, as it is really not that long. Come to think of it, this post is actually longer and probably should put me in jail I guess...

You're banned for being self-aware of your long-winded reason for a ban.

You're banned for banning a smiley zombie.

You're banned for being a small robot.

You're banned for your simplistic bannings.

You're banned for your complicated bannings

You're banned for abusing the emoji.

You're banned for assuming that he is abusing the emoji.

You're banned because she can assume if she wants to.

You're banned for killing this game.

You're banned for reviving it.

You're banned for being an accessory to revival.

You're banned for being a game villain.

You're banned for being a superhero.