Well I guess the title says it all, I was just wondering who ya'll thought were the most active 'forumers' in this part of the AG forum. Opinions, that what this Forum is going to be, pure opinions, and yes you can say 'Me'.
I suppose I don't understand exactly what the "friend zone" entails. I read the posts attempting to explain it, but for some reason the concept eludes me.
I have several male friends, who have never asked/offered anything besides friendship. However, that's not to say that I wouldn't date one of them, possibly. Am I getting even close to what this is all about, or am I just not hip enough?
In my experiences, if the sexual need for a relationship is greater than settling on mere friendships, then the two friends can potentially become partners. Childhood friends who suddenly have strong feelings towards each other will find themselves becoming partners if their attraction is greater, rather than just being intimate friends. These types, however, have to look toward the future instead of the present for likely problems. What would happen should they break up? Remain friends or become awkward when they greet each other?
It is best to find someone, get to know them for a couple weeks, a couple months tops, then see if s/he is the right one for you. If not, settle on being friends. Doing this before rather than after can prevent a lot of sads.
I agree with freakenstein. what if they decided to have sex? Really awkward for them. If the guy said i love you and they broke up again theyre in an awkward position.
Thanks to feminism, I grew up thinking that there was no way a girl in their right mind would ever display an active sexual attraction to a guy.
Hey, funny. Similar thing happened to me.
Now, let me be clear: I have no idea what I'm talking about. But, speaking from ignorance: The "friend zone" works like this:
A friend is not datable/whateverable because he or she is not the type of person you want to date. Not because he or she is a friend, but because friendship and dating have a different set of criteria.
I certainly wouldn't want to date all of my friends, even though they're gr- passable friends. I wouldn't date them if they were strangers, either. They just aren't what I want from a romantic venture.
I (like to) think that people assume rejection is based on friendship because the alternative is that they are themselves inadequate, not just a victim of cruel circumstance. Also, something something feminism
I thought the friedzone worked this way. I'll just use Jack and Jill for the examples names.
example 1.) Jack is interested in Jill as more than friends. Jill likes Jack as a friend and only friends, nothing more. Jill also, does not know Jack has feelings for her. Jill does Jack doesn't want to be very up front to Jill about his feelings because he can kind of tell that Jill does not have romantic feeling for him. Jack never confronts her and stays in the friend zone.
Example 2.) Jack is interested in Jill. Jill knows that he is, but is to "olite" to tell him she is not interested. Which means she has no backbone and is going to lead him on for as long as possible to avoid an awkward situation. She will send mixed signals. She'll hang out with him and have a good time, but if Jack were to confront her, about his feelings, she would give him some elusive answer. Answers like, "I don't want to complicate things", "I don't want to ruin what we have." these answers make Jack feel as if there is some sort of chance with her so he doesn't give up. She should just tell him they are just friends and nothing more and that if he feels that way maybe it is best they stop seeing each other, but she doesn't.
Example 3.) Jack is interested in Jill. Jill knows it. She shouldn't hang out with him, but does anyway because she feels bad saying no and she does enjoy his company. Jack often confronts Jill about his feelings toward her but she tells him over and over that they are only friends and she wants nothing more. In this case Jack should stop seeing her because he knows she is a waste of time.
I don't think you can be in the friend zone if both people are not interested in each other. That would just make you friends.
If you get zoned, don't worry, just settle into it and you may be pleasantly surprised with the perception that your friend eventually finds you more attractive than you find them :P
Thing is i dont get why my friend (th one i explained before) felt she needed to go out with this guy who was her frind its made things bad and really awkward between everyone. I have a lot of close realtionships with boys but ive never wanted to go out with any of them. Partly because i know it would ruin things and also because I dont think they look at me like that which is suppose would offend or annoy other people but i dont care.
Example 3.) Jack is interested in Jill. Jill knows it. She shouldn't hang out with him, but does anyway because she feels bad saying no and she does enjoy his company. Jack often confronts Jill about his feelings toward her but she tells him over and over that they are only friends and she wants nothing more. In this case Jack should stop seeing her because he knows she is a waste of time.
I am a bit on both sides of this situation. >_>
Bit tired of rejecting guys who are sort-of-friends (not close, but same social circle and can talk with for a while) and keep implying they would like to have sex with me. Bit tired of having a hopeless crush on a friend (we had it going for a year, then it broke for reasons). But too good a friend to just walk away.
I do... Tend to be more attracted to friends than random people, though. Probably the feeling of familiarity or something. If I don't trust people enough to call them friends, why would I trust them enough to be intimate.
If I don't trust people enough to call them friends, why would I trust them enough to be intimate.
Thats really true actually for some reason i never thought of it that way. Although im not really gunna be "intimate" any time soon thats kinda illegal.
